Nehemiah 6:9 - For they all were trying to make us afraid saying "Their hands will be weakened and it will not be done". Now therefore O God strengthen my hands.
Fear is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems that we have no control over it. There are just some things we are afraid of. Take me, for example, I am terrified of snakes. Why? Because when I was a kid my brothers chased me around the house with one and then hid and when I ran around the corner of the house they threw it at me and it wrapped itself around my neck. Now I was in no danger. It was just a big ol garden snake (okay it's big in my mind but it was probably tiny) & it was probably way more afraid of me than I was of it. But ever since that day when I see a snake I lose my breath. Literally. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't move. I just freeze up. In all honesty it has gotten better so that last year when I was hiking I actually got close enough to one to take its picture. But I was poised to run if I had to.
But doesn't this verse in Nehemiah give a perfect illustration of the intent of fear? Fear purposes to stop us from what we are doing - from building that wall - our hands from working. It's intent is to stop us in our tracks - to keep us from moving forward.
I've learned a lot about fear in my lifetime. It's the one of the first emotions I remember feeling. If fear is a feeling........ I covered up my fear by escaping into other worlds. At first with barbies and books and later on with alcohol, drugs, unhealthy relationships, work, food..........the list goes on and on and on. I covered up my fear with anger and rage. I hid it well. Until one day for no particular reason I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I was watching a hole open up in front of me in the middle of my living room floor and I knew if I fell into that hole I would never find my way out again. No I wasn't having a nightmare. I wasn't having a bad drug experience. I was stone cold sober. I was happily married. I had three wonderful children. No life wasn't always easy but it was good.
So where did this fear come from? I didn't know. I tried to figure it out. Boy did I try! I spent a long time trying to get to the bottom of my fear. Until I just couldn't anymore. Until I realized the more I focused on my fear the bigger, the stronger it became. If I took my eyes off my fear and focused on God and what he could do my fear got smaller and smaller. Until I realized I didn't need to know what caused my fear but I did need to know who my God is.
Later on at verse 13 it says "For this reason he was hired, that I should be afraid and act that way and sin that they might have cause for an evil report that they might reproach me".
Isn't that also a truth about fear? It desperately wants to get us to stop the work we were called to do. If the very presence of fear in our lives won't get us to stop our work - then another tactic is to try to get fear to lead us into sin. After all if fear itself won't stop us.......guilt and shame might.
I don't know when my fear began to fade away but I think it happened right around the time I decided that nothing was going to stop me from chasing after God. No fear. No person. No place. No thing. No emotion. If I had to take every step God asked of me afraid that's what I was going to do. DO IT AFRAID would be my new motto. I think it had something to do with coming to an understanding that God had conquered fear. Living in fear was my choice. I could claim God's promises over my life and be set free.
Nehemiah's answer to fear was "Strengthen my hands O Lord". That's the clue. We just keep on showing up and doing what's in front of us to be done. That's all courageous people do. Courageous people are just ordinary people who do what needs to be done in the face of very difficult circumstances. Want to see the face of courage? Look at Jesus.
Do I still experience fear? Yes I do. But today I choose to not let it cripple me; not let it stop my work. I just do it afraid. & I keep on doing. I don't do anything. I make a decision to not live in fear today and God does the rest. Its a beautiful thing!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
No Walls
Zechariah 2:3: ..... and another angel was coming out to meet him. Who said to him, "Run, Speak to this young man saying: "Jerusalem shall be inhabited as towns without walls, because of the multitude of men and livestock in it. For I says the Lord "will be a wall of fire all around her and I will be the glory in her midst".
Walls were important in biblical times. There were walls around the city to keep invaders and predators out. They kept the inhabitants safe and secure. They were fortresses which men defended from invading armies because if those walls were breached their families were vulnerable to attack.
We may not have walls around our cities today but walls are still important. Our homes have walls to keep us warm and protect us from the elements and to keep strangers out and loved ones in. We don't think about walls today. They're just there. Holding the roof up; keeping the cold out. We decorate them and hang pictures on them.
But what about our hearts? Have we installed "spiritual walls" to keep invaders out? To keep strangers out? Are we keeping God out of certain areas of our hearts and lives? Are we using our walls to limit what God can do in us and through us. When I met God I was about as broken as a young woman can be. I had been broken and hurt beyond repair (or so I thought). So I offered God a chance - to do what he could do with this trash heap. But I didn't let him all the way in. There were certain things that were just too painful for me to trust ANYONE with. There were sections of my heart I boarded up and place a huge "Do Not Enter" sign on. & God accepted that. He honored that. He never pushed. He never forced his way in. He just loved me just the way I was until little by little those walls began to crumble and fall. And when the walls were gone and my deepest hurts were revealed he poured out his healing oil and made me whole.
What about our lives? Are we spending all our time operating within the safety of our walls and not venturing outside? What about our ministry? Do we only serve where we are comfortable even though our heart swells with compassion for the broken lives we see every day? Do we close our eyes or pretend not to see. Just like our hearts God will respect our free will to let him in or keep him out of our lives or just certain areas of our lives. But God desires to be the wall of fire all around our lives and the glory in our midst.
What if we stopped vying for position within our church walls and just stepped outside and shared our story/the gospel with one person? What if we mentored one lonely child or took someone down on their luck out for a cup of coffee? Comfortable? Not always. What if we stopped criticizing our church leadership, our ministry heads and simply said "what can I do to help"? What if we stopped being part of the problem and became the solution? What if we stepped aside from doing things "we've always done" and gave someone else a chance? What if we nurtured each other's giftings and abilities instead of judging one another?
The Enemy would flee. The prisoners would be set free!
God desires to be the wall of fire around our lives and the glory in our midst. What if we stopped pretending and just got real? What if we truly got transparent - sharing our mistakes as well as our successes? What if we showed people that we aren't perfect but we know the one who is? The one who can take our mistakes and turn them into opportunity. What if we truly loved one another as Jesus did?
We would change the world around us.
Father God I am sorry for all of the times I judge and criticize others. Forgive me Lord for all the times I slip into being a part of the problem instead of the solution. Search my heart and my life Lord. Reveal to me any area I am not granting you access to. I surrender each and every one of them to you. Lord I want you to be the wall of fire around my life and the glory in my midst. Invade me Lord Jesus. Fill with your fire and let your glory shine brightly to all those around me. May you receive all of the glory Lord Jesus. I lay all of me before you, at your feet. Mold me, shape me & light me on FIRE. Just as your fire surrounds me Lord let me be the spark that will set someone else on fire. Let your fire burn and your presence overwhelm me always. Amen.
Walls were important in biblical times. There were walls around the city to keep invaders and predators out. They kept the inhabitants safe and secure. They were fortresses which men defended from invading armies because if those walls were breached their families were vulnerable to attack.
We may not have walls around our cities today but walls are still important. Our homes have walls to keep us warm and protect us from the elements and to keep strangers out and loved ones in. We don't think about walls today. They're just there. Holding the roof up; keeping the cold out. We decorate them and hang pictures on them.
But what about our hearts? Have we installed "spiritual walls" to keep invaders out? To keep strangers out? Are we keeping God out of certain areas of our hearts and lives? Are we using our walls to limit what God can do in us and through us. When I met God I was about as broken as a young woman can be. I had been broken and hurt beyond repair (or so I thought). So I offered God a chance - to do what he could do with this trash heap. But I didn't let him all the way in. There were certain things that were just too painful for me to trust ANYONE with. There were sections of my heart I boarded up and place a huge "Do Not Enter" sign on. & God accepted that. He honored that. He never pushed. He never forced his way in. He just loved me just the way I was until little by little those walls began to crumble and fall. And when the walls were gone and my deepest hurts were revealed he poured out his healing oil and made me whole.
What about our lives? Are we spending all our time operating within the safety of our walls and not venturing outside? What about our ministry? Do we only serve where we are comfortable even though our heart swells with compassion for the broken lives we see every day? Do we close our eyes or pretend not to see. Just like our hearts God will respect our free will to let him in or keep him out of our lives or just certain areas of our lives. But God desires to be the wall of fire all around our lives and the glory in our midst.
What if we stopped vying for position within our church walls and just stepped outside and shared our story/the gospel with one person? What if we mentored one lonely child or took someone down on their luck out for a cup of coffee? Comfortable? Not always. What if we stopped criticizing our church leadership, our ministry heads and simply said "what can I do to help"? What if we stopped being part of the problem and became the solution? What if we stepped aside from doing things "we've always done" and gave someone else a chance? What if we nurtured each other's giftings and abilities instead of judging one another?
The Enemy would flee. The prisoners would be set free!
God desires to be the wall of fire around our lives and the glory in our midst. What if we stopped pretending and just got real? What if we truly got transparent - sharing our mistakes as well as our successes? What if we showed people that we aren't perfect but we know the one who is? The one who can take our mistakes and turn them into opportunity. What if we truly loved one another as Jesus did?
We would change the world around us.
Father God I am sorry for all of the times I judge and criticize others. Forgive me Lord for all the times I slip into being a part of the problem instead of the solution. Search my heart and my life Lord. Reveal to me any area I am not granting you access to. I surrender each and every one of them to you. Lord I want you to be the wall of fire around my life and the glory in my midst. Invade me Lord Jesus. Fill with your fire and let your glory shine brightly to all those around me. May you receive all of the glory Lord Jesus. I lay all of me before you, at your feet. Mold me, shape me & light me on FIRE. Just as your fire surrounds me Lord let me be the spark that will set someone else on fire. Let your fire burn and your presence overwhelm me always. Amen.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Blind Eyes
Luke 6:39 ...Can the Blind lead the Blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch?
I see this in the world all the time. Blind people leading blind people. I'm not talking about physical blindness but spiritual blindness. Look at our country, our state, our city. Everywhere you look you see the results of the blind leading the blind. Corruption. Addiction. Hunger. Homelessness. I'm not talking about a 3rd world country - I'm talking about my own.
I have come to the painful realization that I too am blind. God has a purpose for certain circumstances in my life and I have been blind to them. Instead of trying to "see" what God is doing my vision blurs and all I can focus on is me. If I look at my life and all I can see is me.....I'm blind. I have been in such a place recently. My friend Vivian has been smacking me and saying to me "Open your blind eyes Momma Ida". I would just look at her - not getting it at all.
You see I was dissatisfied with the ministries I was involved in; wondering why I was there because my heart and my vision seem so vastly different from those of the ministry I am in. I was feeling very much apart from and not a part of. Why? Because I was looking to this ministry to supply my needs instead of looking to see what I had that this ministry needed. Vivian kept saying to me maybe you're not in these ministries to "fit it" but maybe God has placed you there to "be the change". Geesh I'm starting to dislike those words.
I am a believer in the saying "If you take the action, the feelings will follow.....". In other words, I do not sit around waiting to feel like doing something - I just do it. So I began to cry out to God asking him to open my blind eyes. Nothing happened at first but as I began to turn my gaze from my life, my circumstances, the world around me and focus instead on the face of my Savior I began to feel the scales fall from my eyes. I would like to report my eyes are completely open and my vision is clear but I cannot. What I can say is that today I am aware I am blind and that my vision is beginning to clear. I can see shadows of men where once there was only darkness.
God is doing something in me. I can feel it. God is showing me that he has put things inside of me - desires, visions, a heart for the broken - for a reason. I may not fully understand what his plan is but I can use what I have right now with whoever he puts in front of me.
God has also been showing me that when he asks us to lead - we need to be careful that we are not leading others blindly. If he has put me in a position to minister to others than I need to take that responsibility seriously. There is nothing routine about ministry. If my eyes are blind & I can't find my own way out of a cardboard box....how will I show someone else the way out? I must seek God in everything I do. I now pray for HIS vision. The steps HE would have me take. The words HE would have me speak. God isn't blind. He sees what I can't see. He plans my every step. He forms my words for me. God is showing me that I must lead with not only passion but with purpose. Not my purpose but HIS purpose. I am accountable to God with the way I lead those around me; with the way I minister to those he gives me to minister to. Woah, right? I can't get too comfortable in my ministry and lose "sight" of the awesome responsibility God has given me. I know it's not about "me" anymore - it's about "Him" but I am responsible for what I do with what he has given me.
As a result, I am falling in love with people that a few months ago I didn't even think about. I have been given new ministry opportunities and I haven't lifted a finger to search them out. Things are happening all around me and all I have to do is continue to chase after God. To seek Him. To get in his presence and let him fill me. Let Him wipe the cloudiness from my eyes. Stay in his presence long enough for my vision to be restored.
Father God, I love you. Please give me your eyes to see. Heal me of my blindness Lord. For I was blind but now I see. Let me turn my gaze to you always. All I desire is to follow you and to see the world around me as you see it. I desire to see the broken and the lonely healed and set free. Lord open blind eyes all around me. In my church, in my city, in my state, in my country. Let "Blind Eyes Open" be the call of a turning from this world to YOUR WORD. Let us rally around you, your truth, your EYES. In Jesus name. Amen.
I see this in the world all the time. Blind people leading blind people. I'm not talking about physical blindness but spiritual blindness. Look at our country, our state, our city. Everywhere you look you see the results of the blind leading the blind. Corruption. Addiction. Hunger. Homelessness. I'm not talking about a 3rd world country - I'm talking about my own.
I have come to the painful realization that I too am blind. God has a purpose for certain circumstances in my life and I have been blind to them. Instead of trying to "see" what God is doing my vision blurs and all I can focus on is me. If I look at my life and all I can see is me.....I'm blind. I have been in such a place recently. My friend Vivian has been smacking me and saying to me "Open your blind eyes Momma Ida". I would just look at her - not getting it at all.
You see I was dissatisfied with the ministries I was involved in; wondering why I was there because my heart and my vision seem so vastly different from those of the ministry I am in. I was feeling very much apart from and not a part of. Why? Because I was looking to this ministry to supply my needs instead of looking to see what I had that this ministry needed. Vivian kept saying to me maybe you're not in these ministries to "fit it" but maybe God has placed you there to "be the change". Geesh I'm starting to dislike those words.
I am a believer in the saying "If you take the action, the feelings will follow.....". In other words, I do not sit around waiting to feel like doing something - I just do it. So I began to cry out to God asking him to open my blind eyes. Nothing happened at first but as I began to turn my gaze from my life, my circumstances, the world around me and focus instead on the face of my Savior I began to feel the scales fall from my eyes. I would like to report my eyes are completely open and my vision is clear but I cannot. What I can say is that today I am aware I am blind and that my vision is beginning to clear. I can see shadows of men where once there was only darkness.
God is doing something in me. I can feel it. God is showing me that he has put things inside of me - desires, visions, a heart for the broken - for a reason. I may not fully understand what his plan is but I can use what I have right now with whoever he puts in front of me.
God has also been showing me that when he asks us to lead - we need to be careful that we are not leading others blindly. If he has put me in a position to minister to others than I need to take that responsibility seriously. There is nothing routine about ministry. If my eyes are blind & I can't find my own way out of a cardboard box....how will I show someone else the way out? I must seek God in everything I do. I now pray for HIS vision. The steps HE would have me take. The words HE would have me speak. God isn't blind. He sees what I can't see. He plans my every step. He forms my words for me. God is showing me that I must lead with not only passion but with purpose. Not my purpose but HIS purpose. I am accountable to God with the way I lead those around me; with the way I minister to those he gives me to minister to. Woah, right? I can't get too comfortable in my ministry and lose "sight" of the awesome responsibility God has given me. I know it's not about "me" anymore - it's about "Him" but I am responsible for what I do with what he has given me.
As a result, I am falling in love with people that a few months ago I didn't even think about. I have been given new ministry opportunities and I haven't lifted a finger to search them out. Things are happening all around me and all I have to do is continue to chase after God. To seek Him. To get in his presence and let him fill me. Let Him wipe the cloudiness from my eyes. Stay in his presence long enough for my vision to be restored.
Father God, I love you. Please give me your eyes to see. Heal me of my blindness Lord. For I was blind but now I see. Let me turn my gaze to you always. All I desire is to follow you and to see the world around me as you see it. I desire to see the broken and the lonely healed and set free. Lord open blind eyes all around me. In my church, in my city, in my state, in my country. Let "Blind Eyes Open" be the call of a turning from this world to YOUR WORD. Let us rally around you, your truth, your EYES. In Jesus name. Amen.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Prayer for a Nation
LINCOLN’S PRAYER PROCLAMATION
In 1863, during the American Civil War, Abraham Lincoln called the nation to repentance, to confession of national sins, and to a turning back to God. In a world today caught up in confiict between nations and within nations, a similar call would bring more peace and prosperity than wars or treaties can provide.
A Proclamation for a National Day of Prayer
Whereas, the Senate of the United States, devoutly recognizing the supreme authority and just government of the Almighty God in all the affairs of men and of nations, has by a resolution requested the president to designate and set apart a day for national prayer and humiliation.
And whereas, it is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God: to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord:
And insomuch as we know that by His divine law nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole People? We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown; but we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God who made us:
It behooves us then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness:
All this being done in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope authorized by the divine teachings, that the united cry of the nation will be heard on high, and answered with blessings no less than the pardon of our national sins, and the restoration of our now divided and suffering country to its former happy condition of unity and peace.
Let us not forget that as a nation we need God just as much as we need God in our own personal lives.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
STAND FIRM
1 Chronicles 11:13-14.
He (Eleazar) was with David at Pasdammim. Now there the Phillistines were gathered for battle and there was a piece of ground full of barley. So the people fled from the Phillistines. But they (David & Eleazar) stationed themselves in the middle of that field, defended it and killed the Phillistines. So the LORD brought about a great victory.
Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel, quit or just run away? That's the valley I've been trudging through for a while now. I've been torn apart at the thought of leaving some of the ministries I've been involved in for the last several years but at the same time wasn't sure how I could continue on with the way things are. The only thing that has kept me from just throwin in that towel are the amazing people I serve in those ministries. My heart is invested. A dear friend has said the words "Be the Change" to me so many times I feel like it should be tattoed on my forehead.
Now I'm not talking a few weeks here. I'm talking month after month after month even though I've taken all the actions that would keep me moving forward - co-leading mission trips, co-leading outreaches in my city, showing up, serving, loving those in front of me. I've asked God a hundred times "Why do you have me in these ministries, in these places, when you know my heart and my passion and I feel like it's being put out". You've put big dreams, big plans, in my heart Lord so why am I serving in places where I feel like I'm not being supported, where I feel like I'm all alone out on the front lines with those I serve and even those I serve with and under don't seem to care.
I have cried and repented and begged God to change my heart and my attitude. I have come face to face with some of my own "ugliness" and have cried out to JESUS that he would simply rip my eyes from those around me and put them back on Him. I've prayed for eyes ONLY for Him & I've made this my daily prayer. And yet I keep finding myself in this place & the only thing that keeps me going is the love I have for those these ministries serve.
Something tells me that when David and Eleazar looked around in that barley field and realized everyone else had run away that they felt pretty alone. Especially as they watched wave after wave after wave of the Philistine army coming over the hill and marching right at them. I bet they didn't feel particularly supported by those around them or over them. Something tells me they probably even wondered why God would lead them to this field in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Philistines and leave them there with dreams unfulfilled.
But they didn't run away with their friends. They STATIONED THEMSELVES in the middle of the field. Stationed represents a purposeful act. They took up positions in that field and purposed to fight no matter what was coming over the hills at them. Something tells me that at some point they lifted their eyes from the Enemy coming over the hills and raised their eyes to Heaven. They took their EYES OFF THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES, OFF THEIR ENEMY AND PLACED THEM ON GOD AND GOD BROUGHT FORTH A VICTORY!
Now I am not pretending to say that those around me in my life are my enemies. Far from it actually. They are my friends and I love them. God has given me a different passion, a different heart than a lot of the people around me. I believe it's for a reason. I believe it is because HIS call on my life is different from the call on the lives of a lot of those around me. I have been called to live a life completely sold out for Jesus Christ. He has different plans for me and I am fine with that. That can be a lonely place sometimes. I bet Jesus was lonely sometimes too. This I do know though .....if I STAND FIRM right where God has planted me, in the middle of my barley field.........GOD WILL BRING ABOUT THE VICTORY.
What if all of David and Eleazar's friends had stayed ....... maybe the story would have read differently......David's army defeated the Phillistines. End of story. Perhaps it was only because David & his friend Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES and STOOD FIRM that God was able to MOVE and receive the Glory for what HE had done. David and Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES purposefully in that field. They grasped their swords and THEY STOOD FIRM. Yes they were scared. Yes they felt alone and abandoned. They must have wondered why God had brought them to a barley field to die. But they STOOD FIRM.
This is my prayer. Father God help me to STAND FIRM in the middle of my BARLEY FIELD just as David and Eleazar did. Let me STATION myself to be of maximum use to you and to those around me. Let me not focus today on the approaching enemy but on YOU. For no army of this world is greater than MY GOD. LORD I WILL NOT RUN. MY FEET ARE PLANTED FIRMLY. PURPOSEFULLY. I AM STATIONED IN MY FIELD. I WILL WAIT ON YOU FOR THE VICTORY YOU WILL BRING. I LOVE YOU MY LORD, MY SAVIOUR, MY FRIEND.
He (Eleazar) was with David at Pasdammim. Now there the Phillistines were gathered for battle and there was a piece of ground full of barley. So the people fled from the Phillistines. But they (David & Eleazar) stationed themselves in the middle of that field, defended it and killed the Phillistines. So the LORD brought about a great victory.
Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel, quit or just run away? That's the valley I've been trudging through for a while now. I've been torn apart at the thought of leaving some of the ministries I've been involved in for the last several years but at the same time wasn't sure how I could continue on with the way things are. The only thing that has kept me from just throwin in that towel are the amazing people I serve in those ministries. My heart is invested. A dear friend has said the words "Be the Change" to me so many times I feel like it should be tattoed on my forehead.
Now I'm not talking a few weeks here. I'm talking month after month after month even though I've taken all the actions that would keep me moving forward - co-leading mission trips, co-leading outreaches in my city, showing up, serving, loving those in front of me. I've asked God a hundred times "Why do you have me in these ministries, in these places, when you know my heart and my passion and I feel like it's being put out". You've put big dreams, big plans, in my heart Lord so why am I serving in places where I feel like I'm not being supported, where I feel like I'm all alone out on the front lines with those I serve and even those I serve with and under don't seem to care.
I have cried and repented and begged God to change my heart and my attitude. I have come face to face with some of my own "ugliness" and have cried out to JESUS that he would simply rip my eyes from those around me and put them back on Him. I've prayed for eyes ONLY for Him & I've made this my daily prayer. And yet I keep finding myself in this place & the only thing that keeps me going is the love I have for those these ministries serve.
Something tells me that when David and Eleazar looked around in that barley field and realized everyone else had run away that they felt pretty alone. Especially as they watched wave after wave after wave of the Philistine army coming over the hill and marching right at them. I bet they didn't feel particularly supported by those around them or over them. Something tells me they probably even wondered why God would lead them to this field in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Philistines and leave them there with dreams unfulfilled.
But they didn't run away with their friends. They STATIONED THEMSELVES in the middle of the field. Stationed represents a purposeful act. They took up positions in that field and purposed to fight no matter what was coming over the hills at them. Something tells me that at some point they lifted their eyes from the Enemy coming over the hills and raised their eyes to Heaven. They took their EYES OFF THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES, OFF THEIR ENEMY AND PLACED THEM ON GOD AND GOD BROUGHT FORTH A VICTORY!
Now I am not pretending to say that those around me in my life are my enemies. Far from it actually. They are my friends and I love them. God has given me a different passion, a different heart than a lot of the people around me. I believe it's for a reason. I believe it is because HIS call on my life is different from the call on the lives of a lot of those around me. I have been called to live a life completely sold out for Jesus Christ. He has different plans for me and I am fine with that. That can be a lonely place sometimes. I bet Jesus was lonely sometimes too. This I do know though .....if I STAND FIRM right where God has planted me, in the middle of my barley field.........GOD WILL BRING ABOUT THE VICTORY.
What if all of David and Eleazar's friends had stayed ....... maybe the story would have read differently......David's army defeated the Phillistines. End of story. Perhaps it was only because David & his friend Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES and STOOD FIRM that God was able to MOVE and receive the Glory for what HE had done. David and Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES purposefully in that field. They grasped their swords and THEY STOOD FIRM. Yes they were scared. Yes they felt alone and abandoned. They must have wondered why God had brought them to a barley field to die. But they STOOD FIRM.
This is my prayer. Father God help me to STAND FIRM in the middle of my BARLEY FIELD just as David and Eleazar did. Let me STATION myself to be of maximum use to you and to those around me. Let me not focus today on the approaching enemy but on YOU. For no army of this world is greater than MY GOD. LORD I WILL NOT RUN. MY FEET ARE PLANTED FIRMLY. PURPOSEFULLY. I AM STATIONED IN MY FIELD. I WILL WAIT ON YOU FOR THE VICTORY YOU WILL BRING. I LOVE YOU MY LORD, MY SAVIOUR, MY FRIEND.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Cross in the Closet
I was sorting through a closet at church the other day looking for a storage bin and tucked away in the dark in the very back of the closet was an old wooden cross. I pulled it out and carried it into the teen room at church and thought I would put it up on the wall. After all it was just collecting dust in the closet. Tonight with a little wire and a lot of help we got the cross hanging on the wall.
My friend Vivian posted this today which made me think about the significance of pulling that cross out of the closet:
S - John 19:39 Nicodemus, who had first come to Jesus at night, came now in broad daylight carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.
O - Nicodemus, along with Joseph of Arimathea, finally decided to honor Jesus in the open, instead of in secret.
A - Do they know that you believe? Are you a secret Christian? There is no shame in believing in Christ and following the one true God and what He has written in His Word. If you are ashamed, then the esteem of man ranks higher with you than your love for the Man who gave His life for you. How sad Nicodemus and Joseph must have been to have seemingly lost one whom they loved so much and yet they never dared to show it. And how bold, after Jesus' death, to finally step out and honor Him.
P - Lord, help me to love and honor the living now so that I have no regrets. And help me to honor You by worshiping and following You openly, without shame, because I love You more than the esteem of man.
Was it a coincidence that I stumbled across an old dusty cross and a few days later Vivian posted her divine inspiration on John 19:39. I don't think so. Consider this cross "out of the closet" forever. Let's not hide our crosses in the closet but carry them proudly. After all the one that died on that cross did it for you and for me. And those secrets, those "crosses" we bear we can pull those out of their closets too because Jesus died to set us free. The more I share my "secrets" the freer I become and most days I don't need a closet...........cause Jesus has set me free to just be me & this "me" just wants to seek the face of JESUS not in the privacy of my closet but out in public, on the streets, at work, at home and EVERYWHERE. Can you imagine what our world would look like if we started living for JESUS right out in the open where everyone could see?
My friend Vivian posted this today which made me think about the significance of pulling that cross out of the closet:
S - John 19:39 Nicodemus, who had first come to Jesus at night, came now in broad daylight carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.
O - Nicodemus, along with Joseph of Arimathea, finally decided to honor Jesus in the open, instead of in secret.
A - Do they know that you believe? Are you a secret Christian? There is no shame in believing in Christ and following the one true God and what He has written in His Word. If you are ashamed, then the esteem of man ranks higher with you than your love for the Man who gave His life for you. How sad Nicodemus and Joseph must have been to have seemingly lost one whom they loved so much and yet they never dared to show it. And how bold, after Jesus' death, to finally step out and honor Him.
P - Lord, help me to love and honor the living now so that I have no regrets. And help me to honor You by worshiping and following You openly, without shame, because I love You more than the esteem of man.
Was it a coincidence that I stumbled across an old dusty cross and a few days later Vivian posted her divine inspiration on John 19:39. I don't think so. Consider this cross "out of the closet" forever. Let's not hide our crosses in the closet but carry them proudly. After all the one that died on that cross did it for you and for me. And those secrets, those "crosses" we bear we can pull those out of their closets too because Jesus died to set us free. The more I share my "secrets" the freer I become and most days I don't need a closet...........cause Jesus has set me free to just be me & this "me" just wants to seek the face of JESUS not in the privacy of my closet but out in public, on the streets, at work, at home and EVERYWHERE. Can you imagine what our world would look like if we started living for JESUS right out in the open where everyone could see?
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Letting Go
I have survived another surrender; I have let go once again. I'd like to tell you this one was easy but it was not. What I will tell you, however, is that even in the midst of it I got a glimpse of God's hand and his purpose and his plan and that alone eased the pain.
Paul and I drove 5 hours to bring Patrick (my son) to Central Maine Master's Commission at Calvary Temple in Waterville, ME. I've been dreading today for months. I've fretted and worried about my "baby". Who's going to remind him to pick up his laundry (or to wash it); who will make sure he eats right and watch out for him? These are just a few of the thoughts that would wash over me as I thought about dropping him off and coming home without him. After all I've had him for 18 years. I've laughed at him and with him. I've cried over him and with him. I've picked him up and dusted him off and sent him back into the game. I've watched countless football games through my fingers because I couldn't watch them tackle my boy :) I've pulled homework out from under his bed, his closet and the woods across the street. I've threatened and yelled. I've prayed and prayed and prayed.
A week ago I had a conversation with God which I called my "Abraham Moment" when God clearly spoke to me and said "Give him to me" and I clearly saw myself placing my son in God's hands. You see - he really isn't mine. He was only mine on loan. He's been God's all along. I'd like to say that that just made the whole process of packing and leaving easy..........but it didn't. There were still clothes to wash and pack, closets to empty and memories to walk through but at the end of the day there he was ............ closing the door of his room for the last time; saying good-bye to his dog and walking to the car.
And 5 hours later we were getting out of the van and looking around the place where he would be starting the next chapter of his life. We were laughing and playing games with other parents who were standing right where we were. We were meeting his roommates and wondering how four boys were going to survive in that little room (especially since they will be taking turns cooking and cleaning) and we were unloading the car and leaving for the night. No good-byes yet because we would see him in the morning at church.
And then this morning. I walked into church and he was already there. Hanging out with his new friends. He came over and told us all about his first night in the dorm and he was grinning from ear to ear. This strange place was already becoming his new home. Worship began and we sang a song about surrendering it all & then the pastor shared his heart and vision for the youth before him and preached a sermon called "Ordinary Heroes". This man I barely know is already invested in my son. I watched Pat answer the alter call and watched him receive prayer on the floor at the alter. And through my tears I hugged my son and said good-bye and yet I had to smile because the entire morning had shown me clearly that Pat is exactly where he is supposed to be and there he stood in God's hands.......in Maine.
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