He (Eleazar) was with David at Pasdammim. Now there the Phillistines were gathered for battle and there was a piece of ground full of barley. So the people fled from the Phillistines. But they (David & Eleazar) stationed themselves in the middle of that field, defended it and killed the Phillistines. So the LORD brought about a great victory.
Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel, quit or just run away? That's the valley I've been trudging through for a while now. I've been torn apart at the thought of leaving some of the ministries I've been involved in for the last several years but at the same time wasn't sure how I could continue on with the way things are. The only thing that has kept me from just throwin in that towel are the amazing people I serve in those ministries. My heart is invested. A dear friend has said the words "Be the Change" to me so many times I feel like it should be tattoed on my forehead.
Now I'm not talking a few weeks here. I'm talking month after month after month even though I've taken all the actions that would keep me moving forward - co-leading mission trips, co-leading outreaches in my city, showing up, serving, loving those in front of me. I've asked God a hundred times "Why do you have me in these ministries, in these places, when you know my heart and my passion and I feel like it's being put out". You've put big dreams, big plans, in my heart Lord so why am I serving in places where I feel like I'm not being supported, where I feel like I'm all alone out on the front lines with those I serve and even those I serve with and under don't seem to care.
I have cried and repented and begged God to change my heart and my attitude. I have come face to face with some of my own "ugliness" and have cried out to JESUS that he would simply rip my eyes from those around me and put them back on Him. I've prayed for eyes ONLY for Him & I've made this my daily prayer. And yet I keep finding myself in this place & the only thing that keeps me going is the love I have for those these ministries serve.
Something tells me that when David and Eleazar looked around in that barley field and realized everyone else had run away that they felt pretty alone. Especially as they watched wave after wave after wave of the Philistine army coming over the hill and marching right at them. I bet they didn't feel particularly supported by those around them or over them. Something tells me they probably even wondered why God would lead them to this field in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Philistines and leave them there with dreams unfulfilled.
But they didn't run away with their friends. They STATIONED THEMSELVES in the middle of the field. Stationed represents a purposeful act. They took up positions in that field and purposed to fight no matter what was coming over the hills at them. Something tells me that at some point they lifted their eyes from the Enemy coming over the hills and raised their eyes to Heaven. They took their EYES OFF THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES, OFF THEIR ENEMY AND PLACED THEM ON GOD AND GOD BROUGHT FORTH A VICTORY!
Now I am not pretending to say that those around me in my life are my enemies. Far from it actually. They are my friends and I love them. God has given me a different passion, a different heart than a lot of the people around me. I believe it's for a reason. I believe it is because HIS call on my life is different from the call on the lives of a lot of those around me. I have been called to live a life completely sold out for Jesus Christ. He has different plans for me and I am fine with that. That can be a lonely place sometimes. I bet Jesus was lonely sometimes too. This I do know though .....if I STAND FIRM right where God has planted me, in the middle of my barley field.........GOD WILL BRING ABOUT THE VICTORY.
What if all of David and Eleazar's friends had stayed ....... maybe the story would have read differently......David's army defeated the Phillistines. End of story. Perhaps it was only because David & his friend Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES and STOOD FIRM that God was able to MOVE and receive the Glory for what HE had done. David and Eleazar STATIONED THEMSELVES purposefully in that field. They grasped their swords and THEY STOOD FIRM. Yes they were scared. Yes they felt alone and abandoned. They must have wondered why God had brought them to a barley field to die. But they STOOD FIRM.
This is my prayer. Father God help me to STAND FIRM in the middle of my BARLEY FIELD just as David and Eleazar did. Let me STATION myself to be of maximum use to you and to those around me. Let me not focus today on the approaching enemy but on YOU. For no army of this world is greater than MY GOD. LORD I WILL NOT RUN. MY FEET ARE PLANTED FIRMLY. PURPOSEFULLY. I AM STATIONED IN MY FIELD. I WILL WAIT ON YOU FOR THE VICTORY YOU WILL BRING. I LOVE YOU MY LORD, MY SAVIOUR, MY FRIEND.
Amen! You got this!
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