Nehemiah 6:9 - For they all were trying to make us afraid saying "Their hands will be weakened and it will not be done". Now therefore O God strengthen my hands.
Fear is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems that we have no control over it. There are just some things we are afraid of. Take me, for example, I am terrified of snakes. Why? Because when I was a kid my brothers chased me around the house with one and then hid and when I ran around the corner of the house they threw it at me and it wrapped itself around my neck. Now I was in no danger. It was just a big ol garden snake (okay it's big in my mind but it was probably tiny) & it was probably way more afraid of me than I was of it. But ever since that day when I see a snake I lose my breath. Literally. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't move. I just freeze up. In all honesty it has gotten better so that last year when I was hiking I actually got close enough to one to take its picture. But I was poised to run if I had to.
But doesn't this verse in Nehemiah give a perfect illustration of the intent of fear? Fear purposes to stop us from what we are doing - from building that wall - our hands from working. It's intent is to stop us in our tracks - to keep us from moving forward.
I've learned a lot about fear in my lifetime. It's the one of the first emotions I remember feeling. If fear is a feeling........ I covered up my fear by escaping into other worlds. At first with barbies and books and later on with alcohol, drugs, unhealthy relationships, work, food..........the list goes on and on and on. I covered up my fear with anger and rage. I hid it well. Until one day for no particular reason I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I was watching a hole open up in front of me in the middle of my living room floor and I knew if I fell into that hole I would never find my way out again. No I wasn't having a nightmare. I wasn't having a bad drug experience. I was stone cold sober. I was happily married. I had three wonderful children. No life wasn't always easy but it was good.
So where did this fear come from? I didn't know. I tried to figure it out. Boy did I try! I spent a long time trying to get to the bottom of my fear. Until I just couldn't anymore. Until I realized the more I focused on my fear the bigger, the stronger it became. If I took my eyes off my fear and focused on God and what he could do my fear got smaller and smaller. Until I realized I didn't need to know what caused my fear but I did need to know who my God is.
Later on at verse 13 it says "For this reason he was hired, that I should be afraid and act that way and sin that they might have cause for an evil report that they might reproach me".
Isn't that also a truth about fear? It desperately wants to get us to stop the work we were called to do. If the very presence of fear in our lives won't get us to stop our work - then another tactic is to try to get fear to lead us into sin. After all if fear itself won't stop us.......guilt and shame might.
I don't know when my fear began to fade away but I think it happened right around the time I decided that nothing was going to stop me from chasing after God. No fear. No person. No place. No thing. No emotion. If I had to take every step God asked of me afraid that's what I was going to do. DO IT AFRAID would be my new motto. I think it had something to do with coming to an understanding that God had conquered fear. Living in fear was my choice. I could claim God's promises over my life and be set free.
Nehemiah's answer to fear was "Strengthen my hands O Lord". That's the clue. We just keep on showing up and doing what's in front of us to be done. That's all courageous people do. Courageous people are just ordinary people who do what needs to be done in the face of very difficult circumstances. Want to see the face of courage? Look at Jesus.
Do I still experience fear? Yes I do. But today I choose to not let it cripple me; not let it stop my work. I just do it afraid. & I keep on doing. I don't do anything. I make a decision to not live in fear today and God does the rest. Its a beautiful thing!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
No Walls
Zechariah 2:3: ..... and another angel was coming out to meet him. Who said to him, "Run, Speak to this young man saying: "Jerusalem shall be inhabited as towns without walls, because of the multitude of men and livestock in it. For I says the Lord "will be a wall of fire all around her and I will be the glory in her midst".
Walls were important in biblical times. There were walls around the city to keep invaders and predators out. They kept the inhabitants safe and secure. They were fortresses which men defended from invading armies because if those walls were breached their families were vulnerable to attack.
We may not have walls around our cities today but walls are still important. Our homes have walls to keep us warm and protect us from the elements and to keep strangers out and loved ones in. We don't think about walls today. They're just there. Holding the roof up; keeping the cold out. We decorate them and hang pictures on them.
But what about our hearts? Have we installed "spiritual walls" to keep invaders out? To keep strangers out? Are we keeping God out of certain areas of our hearts and lives? Are we using our walls to limit what God can do in us and through us. When I met God I was about as broken as a young woman can be. I had been broken and hurt beyond repair (or so I thought). So I offered God a chance - to do what he could do with this trash heap. But I didn't let him all the way in. There were certain things that were just too painful for me to trust ANYONE with. There were sections of my heart I boarded up and place a huge "Do Not Enter" sign on. & God accepted that. He honored that. He never pushed. He never forced his way in. He just loved me just the way I was until little by little those walls began to crumble and fall. And when the walls were gone and my deepest hurts were revealed he poured out his healing oil and made me whole.
What about our lives? Are we spending all our time operating within the safety of our walls and not venturing outside? What about our ministry? Do we only serve where we are comfortable even though our heart swells with compassion for the broken lives we see every day? Do we close our eyes or pretend not to see. Just like our hearts God will respect our free will to let him in or keep him out of our lives or just certain areas of our lives. But God desires to be the wall of fire all around our lives and the glory in our midst.
What if we stopped vying for position within our church walls and just stepped outside and shared our story/the gospel with one person? What if we mentored one lonely child or took someone down on their luck out for a cup of coffee? Comfortable? Not always. What if we stopped criticizing our church leadership, our ministry heads and simply said "what can I do to help"? What if we stopped being part of the problem and became the solution? What if we stepped aside from doing things "we've always done" and gave someone else a chance? What if we nurtured each other's giftings and abilities instead of judging one another?
The Enemy would flee. The prisoners would be set free!
God desires to be the wall of fire around our lives and the glory in our midst. What if we stopped pretending and just got real? What if we truly got transparent - sharing our mistakes as well as our successes? What if we showed people that we aren't perfect but we know the one who is? The one who can take our mistakes and turn them into opportunity. What if we truly loved one another as Jesus did?
We would change the world around us.
Father God I am sorry for all of the times I judge and criticize others. Forgive me Lord for all the times I slip into being a part of the problem instead of the solution. Search my heart and my life Lord. Reveal to me any area I am not granting you access to. I surrender each and every one of them to you. Lord I want you to be the wall of fire around my life and the glory in my midst. Invade me Lord Jesus. Fill with your fire and let your glory shine brightly to all those around me. May you receive all of the glory Lord Jesus. I lay all of me before you, at your feet. Mold me, shape me & light me on FIRE. Just as your fire surrounds me Lord let me be the spark that will set someone else on fire. Let your fire burn and your presence overwhelm me always. Amen.
Walls were important in biblical times. There were walls around the city to keep invaders and predators out. They kept the inhabitants safe and secure. They were fortresses which men defended from invading armies because if those walls were breached their families were vulnerable to attack.
We may not have walls around our cities today but walls are still important. Our homes have walls to keep us warm and protect us from the elements and to keep strangers out and loved ones in. We don't think about walls today. They're just there. Holding the roof up; keeping the cold out. We decorate them and hang pictures on them.
But what about our hearts? Have we installed "spiritual walls" to keep invaders out? To keep strangers out? Are we keeping God out of certain areas of our hearts and lives? Are we using our walls to limit what God can do in us and through us. When I met God I was about as broken as a young woman can be. I had been broken and hurt beyond repair (or so I thought). So I offered God a chance - to do what he could do with this trash heap. But I didn't let him all the way in. There were certain things that were just too painful for me to trust ANYONE with. There were sections of my heart I boarded up and place a huge "Do Not Enter" sign on. & God accepted that. He honored that. He never pushed. He never forced his way in. He just loved me just the way I was until little by little those walls began to crumble and fall. And when the walls were gone and my deepest hurts were revealed he poured out his healing oil and made me whole.
What about our lives? Are we spending all our time operating within the safety of our walls and not venturing outside? What about our ministry? Do we only serve where we are comfortable even though our heart swells with compassion for the broken lives we see every day? Do we close our eyes or pretend not to see. Just like our hearts God will respect our free will to let him in or keep him out of our lives or just certain areas of our lives. But God desires to be the wall of fire all around our lives and the glory in our midst.
What if we stopped vying for position within our church walls and just stepped outside and shared our story/the gospel with one person? What if we mentored one lonely child or took someone down on their luck out for a cup of coffee? Comfortable? Not always. What if we stopped criticizing our church leadership, our ministry heads and simply said "what can I do to help"? What if we stopped being part of the problem and became the solution? What if we stepped aside from doing things "we've always done" and gave someone else a chance? What if we nurtured each other's giftings and abilities instead of judging one another?
The Enemy would flee. The prisoners would be set free!
God desires to be the wall of fire around our lives and the glory in our midst. What if we stopped pretending and just got real? What if we truly got transparent - sharing our mistakes as well as our successes? What if we showed people that we aren't perfect but we know the one who is? The one who can take our mistakes and turn them into opportunity. What if we truly loved one another as Jesus did?
We would change the world around us.
Father God I am sorry for all of the times I judge and criticize others. Forgive me Lord for all the times I slip into being a part of the problem instead of the solution. Search my heart and my life Lord. Reveal to me any area I am not granting you access to. I surrender each and every one of them to you. Lord I want you to be the wall of fire around my life and the glory in my midst. Invade me Lord Jesus. Fill with your fire and let your glory shine brightly to all those around me. May you receive all of the glory Lord Jesus. I lay all of me before you, at your feet. Mold me, shape me & light me on FIRE. Just as your fire surrounds me Lord let me be the spark that will set someone else on fire. Let your fire burn and your presence overwhelm me always. Amen.
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