2 Corinthians 2:9 – For to this end I also wrote that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things.

Am I obedient to God in ALL things?  Nope.  I get a big ol FAIL on that one.  There is still one area of my life I struggle to surrender to God – my addiction to food.  I have abused my “temple” to the point that it is affecting my health.  It is affecting my emotional health as well – along with all the excess weight comes a huge struggle with self image.  This leaves me wide open to the lies of the Enemy.  This is one of the roots I must tear out.  I have worked so hard to lose weight in the past only to fail.  Again and again and again.  Perfect ground for those lies – I’m just made this way – Nope I have pictures of me back in the day that prove this lie isn’t true. 

But whether I believe the lies or not there is still the issue of obedience.  I am not being obedient to God in ALL things if I continue to overeat and abuse my body.  If I want to live my life completely sold out to Jesus than I must completely surrender.  I can’t handle my food addiction on my own.  It’s embarrassing to admit that I struggle in this area – why I don’t know.  Anyone who looks at me knows.  So I find myself once again facing yet another surrender.  One more step towards being in the will of God.

Truth is I’m scared.  Which is why I’m putting this right out there.  Because I need to be held accountable for what I am putting in my mouth – the way I am treating my body.  I cannot be an effective witness for Christ if I am carrying self loathing and actively practicing an addiction.

Father God you are bigger than any addiction I may have.  I know this.  You have set me free from an alcohol and drug addiction that almost killed me on multiple occasions.  I need your freedom once again Lord.  I can’t do this anymore.  I surrender.  I want to be obedient to you in ALL things – in every area of my life.  Help me Lord.  I can’t do this alone.  Amen.