Face to Face

A week ago Paul and I received a call that our niece had overdosed and was being rushed to the hospital.  Off we went to the ER where we sat until around 2 in the morning.  The hospital policy is that only two people can be in the room at a time so we took turns visiting.  When it was my turn, as I sat next to my niece's bed.......it struck me.  She was sleeping as I sat there and while she slept her face looked like the little girl I used to play with.  The little girl we had funny nicknames for and who used to spend the night with us snuggled in bed between the two of us.  The little girl I watched Charlie & the Chocolate Factory with a thousand times.    And I had to ask myself..........how do you go from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory to a suicide attempt at 19?  The answer...........PAIN.   It doesn't matter if I understand the pain, approve of the pain or what I think.  It's not about me.  It's about a young girl who for a moment in time thought death would be easier than life. 

It was scary coming face to face with the reality that she wanted to die.  That she could have been gone from my life forever.  I was surprised at how sharp that pain was.

The pain that was equally as sharp was knowing that there have been times when I have resisted getting involved and trying to help because I thought she really didn't want my help or because her life was too messy.  Ouch!  Not exactly what Jesus would do, huh? 

I know that I can't save her.  That's between her and God but I can do my best to be more involved in her life and to point her to the answer for her pain - a relationship with God.  At 19 that probably doesn't look that interesting but I was only 24 when I was right where she was and it was God and God alone that intervened and saved my life.  He never gave up on me.  Never turned his back on me.  Just like Jesus.  Jesus waded right into the middle of people's messy lives and when he showed up - circumstances changed.  The blind saw.  The deaf heard.  The lame walked.  

Lord my neice needs a miracle.  She needs you.  She needs your love.  Use me Lord to reach her for you and forgive me for all the times I didn't reach out with your love.  Give me your eyes to see her.  Your heart to love her & your wisdom to guide her.  Amen.